Book release panic

My debut novel, Blaze Tuesday and the Case of the Knight Surgeon will be available for purchase beginning March 19, 2013, which, at the time of this writing, is tomorrow.

I’m having a mild panic attack.

I feel like it’s Christmas, my birthday and the first day of school all rolled into one.

I’m excited to have this thing available for everyone else. I’m excited beyond comprehension because this is the thing I have wanted since I was a child. I’ve worked very hard to get here and I’m ecstatic.

But at the same time, I’m kinda sitting here going “what if no one likes me?” and “what if Blaze is a failure and my publishers wanna drop me like a sack of bricks?”

It’s like an excitement and self-doubt smoothie. I get one feeling, and then it’s replaced with the other. I’m sure there’s more layers to this whole neurotic mess that I’ve become, so it’s probably more like a seven layer dip or a taco or something else that is layered and food-like. (I’m not hungry, I just can’t think of a better simile for this without getting into some crazy geography lesson.) Possibly this is an excitement and self-doubt layer cake. I don’t quite know. (And before you ask, no it’s not like an onion, it’s not like a parfait and I am certainly not cheesy on the outside.)

And I know that this a perfectly normal thing to be experiencing.

I’ve tried to prepare myself. I’ve read ALL the blogs and articles about making [your] indie or self-pubbed  book release a success. I’m doing all that I can to promote, currently. And I’ve made like a hundred check lists and have completed most of them. (Although, completing really means rewriting and starting over.)

And I still never did get around to putting Blaze Tuesday on Goodreads. (CRAP! Someone remind me to do that ASAP.)

If I survive my first week of having a book out in the wild, I will write a follow-up.

For now though, I’m just trying to breathe and it’s getting mildly difficult.

I know, though, that it’ll be okay.


Because I have you guys. All of my readers, my friends, my family. My “team”. I’ve put together a huge support system and I cherish each and every one of you.


You guys have kept me (relatively) sane throughout this and I’m sure that I’ll need you more now than ever.

Anyway. Be sure to pick up Blaze Tuesday tomorrow for me okay?

You can find the purchase links on my publisher’s website.


About kaikiriyama

I'm a writer. I write everything from shorts, to novels to screenplays and then some. I like comic books, ponies, zombies, pokemon, monsters, demons, vampires and mythology. I walk a fine line between badass, scary and girly. View all posts by kaikiriyama

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